intimacy and friendships
at 4.30am on a saturday night, i wake up in the backseat of my friend's car. she wakes up our other friend in the passenger seat, who said "feel like i've hit a brick wall" and then passed out for 30 minutes straight. they leave the car and we say goodbye after a really wonderful night. she drives me home, laughing at the fact that i woke up midway and said "this song's sick" and fell back asleep (i don't remember this at all).
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my friend cooked some chicken and saved some to give to me the next time we hung out. i got microwaveable rice and we sat on the floor and ate with our hands. we smoked, ate food silently together while watching this anime they're into right now. i asked him to draw on my lino sheet so i could carve his art. the same person that's seen me through my worst, seen me through rock fucking bottom, stealing ket and abusing alcohol and being insanely neurotic and paranoid. the same person who's seen me derealise and hysterically laughing, wrapping their arms around me while they're manic and laughing too. same person who finds so much solace and catharsis in music and dance the way i do, just in a different form. the only person i trust to cut my hair and if he messes it up i don't give a single fuck because thats my fucking buddy right there. i want to see the world the way they do because they're my best friend and full time husband and i love them.
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my ride or die is my best friend from secondary school. she was the only one i actually ended up staying in close contact with and it means the world that she accepts me so wholeheartedly. i feel like no one can hate her man, she's the fucking best. one time i called her crying and she immediately cried at the sight of seeing me cry god bless her soul. she's also fine as fuck and i tell her this like there's no tomorrow. she slept over at mine once and i had a double bed. "bro i'm sorry if i cuddle you yeah" i wake up to her big spooning me.
we figured out that both of our dads had hemorrhoids and i think it might've been at the same time??
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YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO REST YOUR HEAD ON YOUR FRIEND'S SHOULDER. MY HEART SWELLS WITH LOVE AND I WISH IT STAYED FOREVER. WHENEVER I GET THIS FEELING OF CONTENTNESS, I SECRETLY THINK IT WILL BE HOW I FEEL ONCE I'M IN MY 30S MAYBE.
intimacy can't be restricted to just your partner. hold hands with your friends and tuck them into bedddddd where is the love black eyed peas style